But, there is one major difference between men and women and their fantasies.
For men, fantasies occur with many different women. Contrary to men, the vast majority of women's fantasies occur with one specific guy in mind.
This is nothing new for most of us. Biologically, this makes sense. Men want to spread their seed and women want to be selective about that one guy they choose to reproduce with. Women need to be selective with who they ultimately choose or else they might end up with a poor provider for their child, or worse, no provider at all.
As a result of this, every female fantasy falls into one of three categories:
Devotion Fantasy: This is a woman falling in love with a specific man in their life. They are starting to build a strong connection with this man and they want to do everything they can to spend the rest of their life with him. This is the classic fairy tale story many women fantasize about from a young age.
Chasing Fantasy: This fantasy takes place when a man exhibits qualities that a woman finds irresistible and as a result she has no choice but to chase him. Again, this is all biological, a woman is looking for favorable genetics to reproduce with and hence there are certain qualities men can enhance to make themselves irresistible to women. Later in this article, we will reveal some of these qualities to you.
Temptation Fantasy: This fantasy touches on the hidden, sexual side of most women. Almost all women have an "inner freak" which will only be unleashed if she has a high level of comfort and trust with the guy she has on her mind.
For the rest of this article, we will be touching specifically on the Chasing Fantasy, but, if you want to learn more you can click here to learn more about all of the fantasies.
Women are hardwired to be turned out by certain qualities in a man. Biologically, every woman hopes that she can pick the partner with the most advantageous genetic makeup. Here are the five most common qualities women find irresistible in men, if you exhibit some or all of these qualities then the Chasing Fantasy will likely begin to manifest itself in the woman's head:
- Social Acceptance: You don't need to have a lot of friends, but, you do need to have great relationships with at least a few close individuals. If you are close with other people then she will desire your companionship as well. Her primal brain will say "other people like this guy, I probably will too."
- The Protector: Perhaps above all qualities, women want a protector. Fortunately, we now live in a day and age where this does not mean the ability to fend off opposing tribes and fight a sabertooth tiger with your bare hands. In today's terms, this simply means being a thoughtful and caring individual. Somebody who will take care of her when she is sick, listen to her if she has had a rough day, and pick her up if her car breaks down.
- Well Kempt: Women want a guy who cares about his appearance. This doesn't mean you can't "own" your own personal style or that you need to be super clean cut. It just means whatever look you decide to go for, you need to own it. If you are a lumberjack or fisherman, own the look. Wear flannel, but make sure your clothes are washed and ironed. Keep your beard, but make sure it is well trimmed. Wear work boots to the bar, but don't track mud everywhere you go. You probably won't believe this, but my closest friend who picks up the most chicks wears basketball shoes and athletic shoes out to the bar, but, he OWNS it. He wears what he is comfortable in and he keeps himself looking clean and well kempt. The point here is no woman finds a smelly, dirty man irresistible or a likely suitor for sexual endeavors.
- Spontaneity: Women want to be challenged and excited every day. They want something to brag about with their friends/co-workers. They want an exciting life. Ignore her texts for a few hours and then text her "sorry, just got back from cliff jumping with my friends and didn't have my phone... how was your day?" (This hits both spontaneity AND social proof because you were with your friends)
- Passion: Last and certainly not least, is passion. Have you ever heard when it comes to getting a girl, it doesn't matter if you are old, bald, fat, or broke? Well, that's because it's TRUE... as long as you are on the rise and have a purpose in your life. If you drive a 20 year old Pontiac Bonneville that is held together by bungee cords and duct tape, IT DOESN'T MATTER .... as long as you are fueled by a purpose... as long as you KNOW you are going to be a success and are putting in the work to do it... women find this IRRESISTABLE. This is why women find the "struggling artist" so appealing in all the movies. This archetype of a character SLEEPS IN HIS CAR! And women DROOL over him...think about it... :)
Put yourself in a girl's shoes for a minute here.
Imagine being an attractive woman and knowing for certain that almost every single guy would be willing to have sex with you if you asked them to. Now imagine you straight up tell this girl "I think you are really cool, so it would probably be best if we didn't hooked up because I don't want to ruin this friendship."
What do you think that would do to her? Well it would drive her CRAZY! Every guy wants to bang her... except you??
(P.S. Yes, this line works extremely well, especially at the end of the night, I sometimes say "I think you are awesome, and I want to invite you back to my place to have a drink on my balcony but only if you promise me we won't hook up because I think you are super cool and I don't want to mess anything up, deal?) (P.P.S - another line I sometimes use is I tell the girl we can't hook up because I am on my period... It always gets a good laugh!)
That was your first tip in this section ;) here are a few more.
Social Acceptance Tip: Let's just say you are the least popular guy on the planet and have two friends and two people in your immediate family. It doesn't matter. As long as you talk about your friends and family a lot, then she will never know the difference. You can insert these cues really simply in casual conversation.
- Getting her number: "Hey, I think you are gorgeous and I am going to be kicking myself for the rest of the night if I don"t ask for your number, my friends and I are about to take off so I gotta run but before I go, do you think I could grab your number?"
- The First Date: "When is a good night for you? I have volleyball on Wednesday and I told a few buddies I would catch a movie with them on Friday, so would you want to grab drinks on Thursday or Saturday?"
- Talking/Texting Regularly: "Good morning! I am heading out with a few buddies to play a round of golf, but let me know if you want to grab a drink after!"
See all the difference that makes? You are a man with options and a good social circle. This tells her that you must be a cool guy!
Passion Tip: For the vast majority of girls, a passionate guy is the most desirable quality in the man. (if you don't believe me, just google it!) The best personal example I have of this is my buddy who worked for NASA. He wasn't good looking, funny or muscular. But, he was so effing passionate about his career and NASA's missions that every girl just loved him. He knew exactly what he wanted to be and where he wanted to go in life and he hooked up with a lot of girls for that reason.
Now, you don't need to work for NASA to show a woman that you are passionate about life. It can be a hobby, a side job, a dream, or a project.
For a hobby example, another good friend of mine did stand-up comedy. He was terrible, but, he was passionate about what he did. As soon as girls found that out and he told them "yea, its just something I do on the side but I just think life is too short and I love making people laugh and forget about their problems even if for just 30 minutes."
Man that line cleaned house.
Girls would ask him SO many follow-up questions.
Find something you like, a hobby, a project, a dream, ANYTHING and be ready to speak to it when conversation goes beyond the surface level stuff it will go a long way.
When you do get that opportunity to speak to your passion, be very animated and... well... passionate about whatever you feel your purpose is in life.
If you don't have anything at all you are passionate about in life, then figure that sh!t out before trying to bring a woman into the picture because women want a guy with purpose... and you want to be a man with purpose, so get on it!
Interested in learning more?
My friend Adam Lyons has an entire product library regarding all three fantasies: chasing, devotion and temptation.
For those who don't know Adam, a quick google search will reveal he is one of the most internationally recognized dating coaches in the world and an expert in the art of seduction and female psychology.
His product takes a much deeper look at the three fantasies and how you can trigger each one in a woman, regardless of age, looks, or wealth.
Click here for more info!
